Learning from social media natives, as we look ahead to AI natives
Generational lessons as we prepare for a more AI-forward future.
Today’s youth are the first social media natives, children born into a world of smartphones and ubiquitous social networking. In the US, 95% of teenagers use social media, with over a third reporting near-constant use. Even many younger children (under age 13) are on social platforms despite age restrictions. This is in contrast to prior generations (Gen X or early Millennials) who spent childhood largely offline. Each wave of new media in history has impacted young minds. Even Socrates warned that the invention of writing would weaken memory and give only an “illusion” of understanding. Similarly, the Internet has changed how we find and remember information. People now rely on search engines as an external memory, remembering less actual content and more about where to find it. The advent of social media in the 2000s represented another shift, intertwining technology with development during childhood and adolescence. Growing up “always online” has altered cognitive development, identity formation, social relationships, attention spans, and resilience, and these changes might foreshadow what’s ahead with the next generation of naives: AI natives.
Cognitive Development and Attention Spans
Neuroscientists and psychologists see significant changes in the cognitive profiles of digital-native children. One hallmark change is in sustained attention. Journalist Nicholas Carr describes our era as living in an “attention crisis,” an environment of endless digital distractions “fundamentally geared to grabbing our attention”. Children’s developing brains take in screen-based activities that provide rapid stimulation which may undercut the slow, effortful processes that we typically associate with learning and self-regulation. Heavy media multi-tasking in adolescents correlates with more attention issues and distractibility in school. Excessive screen time has been linked to less engagement of executive functions, more frequent interruptions, and a higher attentional load on kids’ brains. Prior generations who grew up without smartphones were often more involved in activities with sustained focus (reading long texts or engaging in uninterrupted play), whereas today’s youth often have a “split attention” style of processing information.
Technology also alters memory and problem-solving strategies. The ease of looking up answers online means young people are less inclined to memorize facts, instead memorizing where to find information. Psychologists call this a shift to “transactive memory”, offloading memory to devices or the cloud. People tend to forget information that they know is stored online, focusing mental effort on search strategies instead. This can free cognitive resources for higher-order thinking, although it marks a clear departure from how prior generations learned (through rote memory or relying on internal knowledge). Developmental psychologists are investigating whether constant access to Google and Wikipedia might be affecting critical thinking skills. Instant answers may reduce opportunities for working through challenging problems and developing persistence in the face of knowledge gaps. Even in early childhood, the prevalence of tools like Alexa and Siri lets kids get quick answers or commands fulfilled, potentially impacting the development of curiosity and critical thinking. Voice assistants often encourage narrow question formats (simple demands) and don’t require politeness or complex inquiry, which could have bearing on children’s conversational styles and problem-solving approaches.
Growing up digital brings an opportunity for unparalleled access to information and educational tools. Children may develop digital literacy and multitasking abilities that earlier generations lacked. Children deftly navigate apps, games, and learning platforms, building skills in visual-spatial processing and rapid information filtering. The challenge is ensuring depth is not lost amid breadth. The cognitive experience of a social media native is often one of continuous partial attention, juggling a stream of notifications, messages, and content feeds. Older generations might have been more inclined to fully immerse in a single activity (a book, a hobby) without the pull of a phone. Many teens today report feeling anxious or bored without the quick dopamine hits of online engagement. Cognitive development in the social media era is characterized by agility and access on one hand, but risks of lessened patience and focus on the other.
Identity Formation
Adolescence has always been a critical period for identity formation, a time to figure out “Who am I?” and “How do I fit in?” For social media natives, this process unfolds on Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and other platforms. Social media acts as a “digital social mirror”, reflecting back images of ourselves through the feedback of peers. In previous generations, an adolescent’s identity was shaped primarily by in-person interactions (family, school, local community) and traditional media. Now, adolescents carefully curate online personas. They select photos, captions, and statuses to project an image, and then gauge their worth by likes, comments, and follower counts. These online self-presentations and audience feedback loops have become integral to self-concept. Social media provides new arenas for identity exploration, allowing teens to express interests, ideas, and aspects of themselves to a wide audience, well beyond their immediate offline circle. This can accelerate discovery of personal passions or affiliations (for example, finding an online community that shares one’s niche interests or cultural background). Active participation on social platforms is linked to greater identity exploration, as adolescents try out different roles and receive rapid feedback. Unlike the one-dimensional cliques of a high school cafeteria, online a teen can join a coding forum, a band’s fan group, and an activist hashtag movement in the same afternoon, with each experience adding a facet to their identity.
The online identity quest does come with new pressures, though. Teens today grapple with presenting an “idealized” self versus an authentic self. Interestingly, research suggests that being authentic online correlates with stronger self-concept clarity, whereas heavily filtering or perfecting one’s persona can leave one more confused about who they really are. The very nature of social media encourages social comparison. Adolescents constantly compare their lives and bodies to polished posts from peers and influencers. While prior generations certainly compared themselves to classmates or celebrities in magazines, the volume and intimacy of comparison on social media is unprecedented. Your peer’s highlight reel is delivered to your phone 24/7. Extensive social media comparison and feedback-seeking are associated with higher adolescent depressive symptoms and identity distress. Curating an identity for online approval can heighten insecurity when adolescents base their self-worth on others’ reactions. A teen might delete a photo that doesn’t get enough likes, or feel inadequate after scrolling through a stream of seemingly happier, more attractive friends. This can delay the comfortable internal identity formation that prior generations achieved through more private trial-and-error. The generation that has sometimes been dubbed “Generation Me” has a double-edged relationship with self-image. On one hand, they are empowered to broadcast themselves and celebrate individuality more than ever. On the other, they are deeply vulnerable to external validation and the FOMO fostered by constant social feeds.
Marginalized adolescents often report that online communities provide acceptance and a chance to find “people like me” in a way their local environment may not. According to a 2022 Pew survey, a majority of teens said social media helps them feel more connected and supported. 67% felt they have people who can help them through tough times and 58% felt more accepted for who they are. Platforms can be spaces for creative self-expression too, with 71% of teens saying social media gives them a place to show their creative side. Digital identity work isn’t inherently harmful. It depends on how platforms are used. If teens engage in genuine self-expression and supportive communities, social media can bolster identity formation and confidence. The key challenge is navigating the minefield of curated perfection that also inhabits online spaces. Prior generations formed identities with a smaller audience and more ephemeral mistakes (yesterday’s awkward phase wasn’t permanently documented). Gen-Z must form an identity under the quasi-public eye, learning to tune out the noise of the crowd to hear their own voice.
Interpersonal Dynamics and Social Skills
The way young people forge friendships and communicate has transformed in the social media era. Interpersonal dynamics that older adults recall from their youth, like knocking on a friend’s door to ask them to play, passing notes in class, hanging out at the mall for hours, have been supplemented or even supplanted by digital interactions. Today’s teens are constantly with friends in virtual spaces like group chats, multiplayer games, comment threads, and video calls. 94% of teens spend time with friends on social media, and two-thirds say these platforms are among their primary ways of communicating with those friends. Social media has become an important venue for conversation and connection, where young people learn about each other’s lives in real time. Teens readily make new friends online as well. Nearly two-thirds of teens who met a new friend online did so via social media, which also lets them stay in touch easily. Chatting on Instagram or Discord DMs is simply the 2020s equivalent of hogging the family landline for hours in 1985. The age-old adolescent drive to socialize just has new channels. Social media natives often maintain larger networks of acquaintances across geographic boundaries, giving them exposure to diverse perspectives and cultures. These digital connections can be vital in staving off isolation.
Researchers are closely examining what might be lost in translation when socializing is filtered through screens. One notable trend is a decline in face-to-face socialization. Longitudinal surveys show that the amount of time teenagers spend hanging out in person has plummeted over the past two decades. U.S. 10th-graders in 1996 went out with friends about 2.5 times per week on average. By 2020, that dropped to about 1.5 times per week. The steepest decline occurred after 2012, coinciding with the surge in smartphone ownership and daily social media use among teens. Some psychologists worry that heavy reliance on texting and online communication might impede the growth of face-to-face communication skills, the ability to read body language, vocal tone, and subtle social cues. The Child Mind Institute notes that digital communication lacks the richness of in-person interaction. Teens who mostly text might be more prone to misunderstandings or have difficulty with conflict resolution in real life. The “digital native” generation is highly adept at managing large networks and constant communication, but they might struggle with depth of connection. Sociologists point out that while teens are never truly alone thanks to their phones, they may paradoxically report feelings of loneliness. Scrolling social feeds can create an illusion of being social while one is actually alone, leading to a sense of emotional disconnection.
Online social dynamics introduce new challenges that prior generations didn’t face. Hurtful rumors, harassment, or exclusion can now occur 24/7 in online spaces, amplifying the impact beyond the schoolyard. A conflict between friends is no longer a private spat. It can play out via public posts, with others chiming in. Drama and peer comparison are inescapable, potentially heightening social anxiety. Many teens feel pressure to perform friendship online, ensuring they comment supportively on a friend’s posts or respond to messages instantly, or else risk offending someone. The social media era has thus altered norms of friendship. Loyalty might be judged by how quickly one likes a friend’s photo or how often one appears in friends’ Stories. These are pressures prior generations never had to consider. On the flip side, today’s adolescents may be more emotionally open and communicative via text than their parents were in person. Teens often find it easier to disclose feelings or seek help behind the safety of a screen, which can strengthen bonds. A shy teen might text a friend about their depression whereas they’d never say it out loud. Social media can facilitate support networks, as evidenced by 67% of teens reporting that it makes them feel they have people who support them through tough times.
Social media natives are hyper-connected yet sometimes isolated, globally linked but perhaps locally disengaged. Past generations learned social skills through face-to-face trial and error. This generation is learning them through a mix of digital trial (emojis, memes, and video chats) and occasional in-person meetups. Psychologists have voiced concern that modern adolescents are “growing up more slowly,” delaying traditional markers of independence (such as dating or driving) and spending more time in the safety of virtual interaction. Some think that this cautious, screen-mediated upbringing may lead to adolescents taking longer to develop personal identity and interpersonal confidence. It’s a new social reality with both expanded opportunities (to connect, to find community) and emerging risks (of superficiality or social fragility).
Resilience and Mental Health
Perhaps the most pressing question is how growing up as social media natives has affected mental health and psychological resilience. Over the last decade, rates of adolescent anxiety, depression, and related issues have climbed, prompting researchers to investigate the role of smartphones and social networks. While correlation is not causation, the timing is striking. Between 2011 and 2015, teen depression rates surged by 50%, and teen suicide rates also rose, aligning with the period when smartphones went from a luxury to nearly ubiquitous among youth. Dr. Jean Twenge, who dubbed the post-1995 generation “iGen,” argues that excessive screen time, particularly on social media, is a significant contributing factor to teen unhappiness. Teens who spend 5+ hours a day on social media are about twice as likely to report being depressed as those who don’t use social media. Heavy use can displace sleep, exercise, and in-person activities that are protective for mental well-being. As discussed, online environments can foment negative self-comparison and exposure to cyberbullying or harmful content (e.g. pro-self-harm communities or unrealistic body images), all of which can erode mental health. The U.S. Surgeon General’s 2023 advisory warned that frequent social media use is linked to changes in adolescent brain development related to emotional regulation and reward processing, potentially making teens more vulnerable to mental distress.
Another aspect of resilience is the capacity to cope with adversity. Today’s hyper-connected, app-saturated childhood might be producing a generation that is less practiced in managing challenges independently. When a teenager feels down or bored, they can immediately seek distraction or validation online (post a status and get comments, watch TikToks, message friends) rather than sitting with those uncomfortable feelings or finding internal coping strategies. Constant digital distraction can impede the development of distress tolerance (the ability to be okay with boredom or sadness) which earlier generations honed simply because instant entertainment wasn’t always at hand. Well-meaning parents today might be quick to intervene via technology (tracking their child’s location, texting reminders, etc.), potentially reducing opportunities for kids to learn resilience through small failures. Some of today’s teens have “never really been alone” in the sense that a parent or friend is always a text away, so they have fewer chances to practice autonomy.
Echoing this, educators argue that we must be careful not to “over-protect” teens from all adversity, because overcoming challenges is how resilience is built. If kids never have to struggle, if every problem is solved by a quick Google search or a parent troubleshooting, they may reach adulthood without the coping skills needed to handle stress. Some data support the notion that resilience has declined. College counselors often report today’s young adults have more difficulty with failure or criticism compared to students in the past, sometimes referred to as having “fragile perfect” syndrome (appearing confident outwardly but lacking coping strength). This isn’t solely due to social media (broader cultural parenting trends play a role), but the curated nature of online life can exacerbate it. Teens see highlight reels of others excelling, which can make their own failures feel more devastating by comparison.
On the flip side, social media natives have also pioneered new forms of resilience and advocacy. Many are remarkably open about mental health struggles, destigmatizing conditions like depression or anxiety by talking about them on platforms. A teen who feels suicidal at 2 AM can find online crisis resources or communities (#SafeSpace, etc.) where peers share coping tips. This connectivity can literally be lifesaving, as help is accessible outside traditional hours or locations. Certain online activities (like forums for those with chronic illness or marginalized identities) can foster resilience by providing a sense of community and belonging. In one survey, 80% of teens said social media makes them feel more connected to their friends’ lives, which can buffer against loneliness. Mindful use of social media alongside real-world support seems to yield the best outcomes, whereas excessive or negative use (doom-scrolling, engaging in online conflicts) undermines mental health.
We can see that the psychological portrait of the social media native generation is complex. They are highly connected yet at risk of loneliness, self-expressive yet anxious about judgment, adaptive yet possibly less seasoned in independence. Technology’s impacts on youth are not uniformly good or bad. They are mediated by how these tools are used, by whom, and how much. These insights will come in handy as we turn to the next frontier, the generation of AI natives. The children born in the mid-2020s and beyond will grow up not only with social media, but with generative AI woven into daily life. What can we predict about their experience, given what we know now?
The AI Native Generation
The first generation of AI natives is now on the horizon: children who will never know a world without intelligent algorithms, conversational chatbots, and ubiquitous AI assistance. Just as today’s teens intuitively navigate social media, tomorrow’s kids will be instinctively comfortable with AI tools. Early signs of this shift are already evident. Even toddlers interact with voice assistants (“Alexa, play my song!”), and many school-age kids have toyed with AI chatbots or AI-generated filters on apps. AI is quietly pervading children’s lives, from the shows they watch (recommendation algorithms) to how their parents manage health and education (AI diagnostics, personalized learning software). By examining the social media generation, we can anticipate both promising opportunities and potential pitfalls for the AI-native generation.
Cognitive & Learning
Future adolescents will rely on AI for instant answers and solutions, echoing the trend of offloading memory to the internet. Generative AI will become a “brain extension,” handling tasks like summarizing readings or generating code. This could enhance learning if used as a tutor. AI reading companions that ask questions have been shown to improve children’s comprehension and vocabulary. However, if overused, it might impair the development of problem-solving persistence. Just as calculators changed how students approached arithmetic, AI that effortlessly completes homework could tempt kids to skip grappling with tough problems.
Lesson: Emphasize AI literacy and critical thinking. Children will need to be taught to question AI outputs and understand their limits. Education may shift toward guiding students in how to effectively collaborate with AI (using it as a tool for insight) rather than passively accepting its answers. Cognitively, AI natives may become adept at higher-order analysis by delegating rote tasks to AI, but they should still exercise their own memory and reasoning muscles.
Attention & Creativity
If social media shortened attention spans, generative AI content could bombard kids with even more perfectly tailored, novel stimuli. Imagine endless TikTok-style videos auto-generated to hook an individual child’s interests. The potential for hyper-personalized distraction is enormous. The struggle for attention focus may intensify. But AI could also assist creativity by providing a sandbox for ideas. Children could conjure art, music, or stories with AI tools, iterating imaginative ideas rapidly. This could empower kids who aren’t skilled in traditional arts to nonetheless realize their creative visions (a child can “draw” by directing an AI image generator). The critical balance will be between consumption and creation. If AI natives are guided to use generative tools actively, as instruments to bring their own ideas to life, their creative confidence could soar. If they become passive consumers of AI-curated feeds, their capacity for sustained creative effort or deep imagination might wane.
Lesson: Just as we now encourage screen-time limits, we may need to teach “attentional fitness”, helping kids practice mindfulness, single-tasking, and boredom tolerance in an AI-rich world. Creativity will remain a fundamentally human spark, but AI can either augment it or stifle it depending on how children engage with these technologies.
Identity & Authenticity
Social media already challenged youth to develop an authentic self amid filters and highlight reels. AI will amplify this challenge. Future teens may have AI systems that can auto-generate their photos, profile bios, even text posts. Digital identities could become highly curated by AI, making it harder for young people to know what is “real.” AI could produce flawless profile pictures or Augmented Reality avatars, raising self-image issues (“Is my real face less valuable than my AI-touched photo?”). Deepfake technology might blur reality, causing confusion or distrust about others’ identities as well. On the other hand, AI might help kids explore identities. An AI role-play chatbot could let a teen safely experiment with different personas or rehearse social scenarios.
Lesson: The importance of authenticity for healthy identity development. For AI natives, parents and mentors should encourage time and spaces where no AI filters are involved, like real-life hobbies or unfiltered sharing, so that children build a solid sense of self. AI literacy should also include understanding algorithmic bias. As AI systems reflect the biases in their training data, kids must learn that if an AI gives an answer about “how one should look or behave,” it’s not an objective truth. The next generation will navigate identity in a world where AI can both shape and shake one’s self-image, so grounding their identity in offline values and relationships will be key.
Social Relationships & Empathy
Another new dynamic will be the presence of AI “friends” and caregivers. Many children already treat voice assistants or chatbot companions as if they have feelings. Future AI might simulate friendship convincingly, always agreeable, never demanding. While this might comfort some lonely kids or help those with social anxiety practice interactions, it carries the risk of “the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship”. If children bond with emotive robots or AI pals, they might miss out on learning the give-and-take of real human relationships. An AI friend doesn’t require patience, empathy, or compromise. It is essentially a servant to the child’s wishes. Young AI natives could grow overly accustomed to relationships on their own terms, which could hinder developing empathy and social reciprocity. Some may come to prefer AI confidants to humans, especially if they’ve grown up with AI that is always available and nonjudgmental.
Lesson: Socialization in the AI era will need deliberate cultivation. Families and schools might prioritize group activities, teamwork and interpersonal skills more than ever to ensure kids experience human-to-human connection. It will also be crucial to teach kids that AI “feelings” are simulated. You might not need to feel guilty for “hurting” Alexa, but you do need to care about hurting a classmate’s feelings. Children can struggle with that distinction, so clear guidance could help. AI could also be used to enhance empathy (for example, VR simulations driven by AI could let kids “experience” someone else’s perspective) but such interventions would need careful design.
Resilience & Independence
AI promises to make life easier, perhaps too easy at times. If a child grows up with an AI assistant that handles scheduling, homework reminders, even conflict mediation (“AI, tell my sibling to leave me alone”), they might miss chances to struggle and grow. Over-reliance on AI could weaken self-reliance. We may see a future where a teen panics not because they lost their phone (as today) but because their trusted AI assistant is down and they’ve never learned to do certain tasks manually. Having AI constantly optimize and personalize everything might reduce exposure to healthy friction. An AI might automatically filter out upsetting content for a child (which is good to a point), but encountering and working through minor challenges is how kids build resilience. On the positive side, AI could support mental health and resilience if used appropriately. Imagine AI chatbots that monitor a child’s emotional state and gently prompt coping exercises or alert a counselor if serious issues arise. These could provide an additional safety net, especially in contexts where human help isn’t immediately available.
Lesson: Completely unfettered use of new tech by kids can have unintended psychological costs. With AI we have an opportunity to be proactive. Encouraging gradual skill-building (have children do chores or homework with only minimal AI help) and deliberate “unplugged” challenges can help AI natives develop real-world competence and confidence. Use AI as a tool to empower children, not as a crutch that enfeebles them. Society may also need to address new ethical dimensions. If an AI tool is effectively acting like a therapist or friend to a teen, what guardrails are in place to ensure it’s helpful and not causing harm (as some cases of chatbots encouraging self-harm have shown)?
Reflections
The journey from social media natives to AI natives reveals a constant theme. Technology reshapes childhood, but human needs remain the same. Children will always need to learn how to think, who they are, how to get along with others, and how to handle life’s ups and downs. Social media’s advent provided a grand, and sometimes troubling, experiment in those domains. Young minds are malleable and digital environments can significantly influence cognitive patterns, self-image, social habits, and emotional well-being. Intervention and education can mitigate potential harms that could come out of that.
The future AI-native generation could very well be the most creatively empowered, globally connected cohort in history, if we apply wisdom from past experience. Insights from developmental psychology, sociology, and technology studies will be crucial in crafting policies and parenting strategies. Culturally, we must resist seeing AI (just as we should not see social media) as a magic solution or an utter catastrophe. It’s a powerful tool that requires guidance and balance. Ensuring that children develop critical thinking, empathy, and resilience alongside their adoption of AI will be one of the defining challenges of 21st-century childhood. Just as digital natives had to learn to discern reality from the chaos of the Internet, AI natives will need to learn to discern human values in the presence of intelligent machines.
This idea started in my brain, was hashed out with AI, and then heavily edited by yours truly.